Road to the Fittest Mom

We've all heard it said, "Your mistakes don't define you"...but is that true? I've said it myself and to others, and have had it said to me as well. But more often than not, I feel like it doesn't hold true. So many want to judge or hold people to their past, that change can never happen, or when it does, that it happens too soon or not soon enough. I read a blog awhile ago on the same topic and wanted to re-post some of what the author said, because frankly, it completely reflects my heart. (You can find the whole thing here ) There is one thing I have come to learn through all of the mistakes I have made: I will never again regret a single one of them. Yes, some of the things I have done were wrong. Yes, I have unintentionally hurt some people I car deeply about and some that I barely know. And yes, I have burnt quite a few bridges. What I see now that I was blind to before is that all of these things happen for a reason. And you know what? I am complete...

Sometimes I wish it were easy; I wish I just had great genetics and was built an athlete. I wish running were fun and simple. I wish I could put on muscle and lean out without difficulty because (probably like most men) that's just how things are. Unfortunately though, it takes so. much. effort. And this effort can be for something as little as making good food choices or moving my body in a way that resembles fitness. It is a daily struggle. Perhaps my struggles are others strengths, while their struggles are my strengths. I know...these struggles are what make me who I am, help me understand the fight. Who knows...but some days, I just wish. 

What is it about Mexican food that makes me lose all control of myself?? Margarita? Yes. Queso? Always. Guacamole? I can't afford it but, YES! And the salsa? Heavens, it's so delicious I could drink it. Thank God it's free. But I just don't understand why it's so mouth-watering delicious. Every single time, I tell myself, "April, you will not eat your body weight in chips and salsa, because when you do, you never are hungry when your food comes. But it comes anyway and you shove everything in your mouth and then you have a food baby and feel miserable. Do not do it again!". And what do I do? I don't stop eating. I lose all self-control. I've had to legit unzip my pants before because they were too tight (this was obviously long ago when I wore "fancy" clothes like jeans instead of athleisure wear). Is everyone like this?? Am I the only one? Please help.

Yesterday was one of "those" days...you know, the one where nothing seems to go right and you feel like God is taking a shit on you because what else could possibly make it worse?! So I did what any rational female would do...I ate my feelings. Yep. Macros were not counted. An abundance of mostly carbs and fats were consumed, with small doses of delicious protein. It was glorious. I then made slightly undercooked chocolate chip cookies, served with a scoop of ice cream. It was the perfect way to end my craptastic day. The weight of my life sort of just fell on top of me (This was not the reason I strained something in my neck and now am in excruciating pain. Nor was it lifting a heavy weight at the gym. Nope...starting my lawnmower. Classy). Being a single mom is hard. Days when I want to (and often times do) give up on parenting, I don't have someone else to lean on or take over when I want to check out. Right now, that's been falling on Avery. She's been doing ...

It's been a chunk of time since my last post and life has been nothing but organized chaos. So here's a quick run down on my life update: Gym Life: I started at a new gym awhile ago and dare I say....I love it. A friend of mine that is a coach relentlessly urged me to join and I finally gave in. I wish I had done it sooner! These frequent chats with said friend always ended with a push to get back to what I love and I do love me some CrossFit. It is insanely intimidating going back to a gym, especially not knowing a lot of people, but I am forever grateful. The friends I've made in the short time I've been at ThriveFit have had such a positive impact on my life. I've realized my fitness journey isn't just about my outward appearance, but how I'm growing and reaching goals with my inward self. I also started a macros plan to help with performance in the gym and I feel so much better. Yay fitness! Work Life: My new job is everything I could have dreamed of...

I was wasting time on the Instagram today, like most of you do countless times everyday, and I came across a post I just had to share. I follow this athlete, someone I've honestly never heard of, but found her while scrolling through the "suggested" persons area. If you are a mom, please read:  alphakilo Anna's words are so inspiring to me, and she articulate exactly how I feel.  "I didn’t hide the hard work, sacrifice and painful days, because that’s realistic of life. I knew that if I wanted to lead by example, then I would have to devote myself wholly to a life of self-discovery, discipline and remaining open to challenge and growth. I knew this would benefit all of us in the end. All parents can do this in their own way. This is mine." This year is a growth year for me...I'm learning to be an adult (I know, this is something most people learn before they are 33, however, I haven't done a stellar job). This process of growth for me is insanely...

While working today, I turned on Pandora and a song came on that immediately made me stop.... (Sorry to my boss if you're reading this....company time/money was used in the making of this blog post). Mercy Me - Even If. You guys. Seriously, this song is amaze-balls. Here is a link to the  SONG  on YouTube, with lyrics. A nugget: But God when you choose, To leave mountains unmoveable, Oh give me the strength to be able to sing It is well with my soul.  I know you're able, and I know you can Save through the fire with your mighty hand But even if you don't, My hope is in you alone. One of my friends struggled for years with infertility. I remember the day she came to me and told me her doctor at the time basically told her it was impossible and to give up all hope. She was crushed beyond belief. She had faith though, that God would move an unmoveable mountain. She told me during one of her times talking with her mom, while pouring out her heart to her, ...

I was going to start off with some incredibly motivating picture and quote for 2018....it's a new year and everyone is all balls deep in "Let's do this!" And at times, yes, I am too. But it's not like at the drop of the ball and the countdown is over, things just instantly change, and life gets better. I still have my problems...I still have my fears, anxiety, depression, insecurities and failures lurking in the back of my mind. I can say though, that this year, I do feel different. I'm tired of putting up with the bullshit. I'm making this year about me for once. I've been trying to do this in a few different ways....one is meditating. While I have little clue as to how to do this, I know that my mind is where it all begins. From maxing out my deadlift, to getting out of bed, to folding laundry (I literally do this only when its as if I'm going to be naked from no clothes), overcoming the mental struggle is the first battle! I also plan to t...