The Dreaded "Mom Stories"

We do not have cable and therefore only get about 4 real channels (plus 23 "Jesus" channels). Last night there wasn't anything on so I ended up settling on "Cougar Town". I've watched the show before and haven't been too impressed...though there are some funny one-liners or quotes everyone now and then. Last night though, I found a few things quite interesting and even laid in bed awhile afterwards thinking about the meaning of what was said...

The episode was "Let Yourself Go" (season 2, episode 2 in case you want to watch). I was focusing on the couple Ellie and Andy who have a son, probably 8 months old. They don't like talking about their kid around other people. Ellie refuses to tell "mom stories" because she thinks by doing so, she will be dull and unsexy. Andy can't resist though and tries telling a story about their son and the friends standing by soon pretend to fall asleep and act out a murder/suicide in order to get out of the story altogether.

Alas, the great inner debate begins. How often is it appropriate to discuss your kid (and even pregnancy) around your friends?

Double whammy for me, being that I am now involved in both of those criteria...I feel like a magnet sometimes for these discussions though. More times than I wish to count have I been caught in what suddenly appears as the "mommy group"; moms that somehow gravitate towards one another and feel this "urge to purge" all their latest, most detailed stories regarding their child. Whilst I myself do enjoy the occasional chat with other moms, sharing tips and secrets with each other and learning what works and doesn't for their kid as well as my own. But soon enough, I often times find myself feeling uncomfortable...

I understand I am a parent and I am also pregnant...but does that mean I have some free pass to openly discuss these things with any and all people who will listen? I realize these things are important to myself as well as others, but I also understand that some people don't care that my kid had a massive poop that shot out her diaper or that I pee a little bit when I cough or sneeze because of all the pressure this baby is putting on my bladder. I sometimes have to remind my husband that while I know he enjoys working out, triathlons, biking, etc., that others don't; so we both have to make conscious decisions when around others to not talk constantly about the things we love.

I also want to be sensitive to those around me who don't have kids or who aren't pregnant. After my miscarriage, I was so angry when I was around a pregnant woman, even if she happened to be a close friend. I didn't care what was going on because I was hurting. Sometimes I wish others took to heart this message... We don't know what others are going through or what kind of day they've had. I also want to be sensitive to others who, maybe like myself, have a child but sometimes just don't care. When I get together with people, especially if there aren't children involved, I want to feel like an adult!! In those rare instances when I don't have to deal with a wild 19month old ripping through my house, wiping snot from her nose, cleaning poop off her butt, and feeding her goldfish, I want to feel "normal". I don't want to think about my child or the fact that I look like a whale. I want to have conversations about real things, not Mickey Mouse or Shrek. Is that too much to ask?

Now, I don't want to seem harsh, like I never want to discuss my baby or what she's doing. I'd LOVE to tell anyone that will listen about how perfect she is; and I'm sure I often do! But suffice it to say there is a time and a place for it all. I take such joy in all that Avery does and am so excited to see her growing, but I realize that sharing those things with others is sometimes okay and sometimes not okay (or okay to a certain point).

So now that I have your attention, I've got just the story about Avery to tell you. Oh....not the right time is it?