The Pursuit of Happiness
"When we least expect it, life sends us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A moment is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny". - Paulo Coelho
Some days are easy; waking up and going about my day is second nature. There is little to any thought about it and what it holds; I wake up ready to conquer and I do! And then others....each minute is a victory, because damn it, life sucks and things get hard. I struggle to keep myself together; at work, in my car, at the store, at home with my kids or when I'm alone. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and everything hits me. I still cry and today is no exception.
My thoughts wander....to my past. Decisions that were made, some that weren't. Second-guessing what I did, what I could have done, what I should have done and what I didn't do. I have all these feelings and I don't know what to do with them. Help friends. What am I supposed to do? I can't just flip a switch. I can't just forget; I can't erase the memories I made, the future I planned, the bond and time I experienced with someone who meant everything to me.
At the end of the day, I just want to be pursued. I want to be fought after. I want to be desired by someone so much that they are relentless in their pursuit of me. To crave me, to love me beyond everything. To fight for me no matter what, because I'm worth it. "Put her above everyone by building her up. Build her up, and give her all of you to stand upon. Until she's standing so tall, she wouldn't, in her wildest dreams, think anyone else could show her what you have....nothing worth having is free. You only deserve what you earn." (J. Raymond)
Some days are easy; waking up and going about my day is second nature. There is little to any thought about it and what it holds; I wake up ready to conquer and I do! And then others....each minute is a victory, because damn it, life sucks and things get hard. I struggle to keep myself together; at work, in my car, at the store, at home with my kids or when I'm alone. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and everything hits me. I still cry and today is no exception.
My thoughts wander....to my past. Decisions that were made, some that weren't. Second-guessing what I did, what I could have done, what I should have done and what I didn't do. I have all these feelings and I don't know what to do with them. Help friends. What am I supposed to do? I can't just flip a switch. I can't just forget; I can't erase the memories I made, the future I planned, the bond and time I experienced with someone who meant everything to me.
At the end of the day, I just want to be pursued. I want to be fought after. I want to be desired by someone so much that they are relentless in their pursuit of me. To crave me, to love me beyond everything. To fight for me no matter what, because I'm worth it. "Put her above everyone by building her up. Build her up, and give her all of you to stand upon. Until she's standing so tall, she wouldn't, in her wildest dreams, think anyone else could show her what you have....nothing worth having is free. You only deserve what you earn." (J. Raymond)
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