Post-Partum Bod...
I wanted to write a bit about me...my feelings and thoughts post-pregnancy. I don't AT ALL want anyone to think this is a sob story nor am I "fishing" for compliments. I simply want to be honest and real and share what I'm going through. Maybe it might help someone else who may be going through the same thing...and maybe someone has gone through it and can relate! Either way...here goes...
I am now 4 wks post-partum...while I realize this is a short amount of time, on the other hand, I feel like "Gosh, 4 wks is long!". I don't feel like I've accomplished much of anything as far as a diet or exercise plan goes thus far. I am still a bit sore where my incision is, but regardless, I'm still WAY out of shape. Like, scale from 1-10, I'm 1...or 0 even. It's so hard to get motivated when I am sleep deprived from having a baby attached to my boob, chasing after Avery, cleaning up after Avery, Chris and myself, grocery shopping, making dinner, and the list goes on and on. Besides, when do I have time?! Even IF I get an hour or two where both kids are sleeping, all I want to do is put my feet up and relax.
I gained 30 lb's and was 176 when I went into the hospital. Today, I am plus/minus 154. While I realize that's 20lb's and is great, I also realize I need to still lose about 20 more lb's. And the later will be way harder to take off. Lame. The icing on this fat cake, is my stomach now looks funky from where my incision is. My worst fear was that I'd look like one of those contestants on "The Biggest Loser" who has some sort of scar and their fat grows over it and then they look deformed. I'm sure it might look somewhat "normal" if I were to drop those 20lb's but that's if I can even accomplish that. Ugh. High five to having babies!
On top of all this, the worst is how I feel towards Chris. I know he's totally ready to have his wife back, especially since now I don't have a giant belly that moves when he touches it. I'm not pregnant and therefore my mind says I should look and feel not pregnant. But that's not realistic. And the thought of sex (sorry, I'm sure my mother in law is reading this...might be sort weird for her...) just grosses me out. How can I feel sexy and attractive when I've got all these body image issues running through my mind? Even if Chris by chance happens to touch my stomach or my butt, my mind immediately thinks "Oh no! I hope he didn't feel what I see in the mirror!" UUUGGHH. And to complicate it even more so, Chris is in the best shape of his life...chiseled features and tight muscles...yeah I'm sure he'd just love to get with this!!
So, I guess I'll get back to you when I figure it all out. Hopefully I do... in the meantime, I wonder if I have any ice cream downstairs....
I am now 4 wks post-partum...while I realize this is a short amount of time, on the other hand, I feel like "Gosh, 4 wks is long!". I don't feel like I've accomplished much of anything as far as a diet or exercise plan goes thus far. I am still a bit sore where my incision is, but regardless, I'm still WAY out of shape. Like, scale from 1-10, I'm 1...or 0 even. It's so hard to get motivated when I am sleep deprived from having a baby attached to my boob, chasing after Avery, cleaning up after Avery, Chris and myself, grocery shopping, making dinner, and the list goes on and on. Besides, when do I have time?! Even IF I get an hour or two where both kids are sleeping, all I want to do is put my feet up and relax.
I gained 30 lb's and was 176 when I went into the hospital. Today, I am plus/minus 154. While I realize that's 20lb's and is great, I also realize I need to still lose about 20 more lb's. And the later will be way harder to take off. Lame. The icing on this fat cake, is my stomach now looks funky from where my incision is. My worst fear was that I'd look like one of those contestants on "The Biggest Loser" who has some sort of scar and their fat grows over it and then they look deformed. I'm sure it might look somewhat "normal" if I were to drop those 20lb's but that's if I can even accomplish that. Ugh. High five to having babies!
On top of all this, the worst is how I feel towards Chris. I know he's totally ready to have his wife back, especially since now I don't have a giant belly that moves when he touches it. I'm not pregnant and therefore my mind says I should look and feel not pregnant. But that's not realistic. And the thought of sex (sorry, I'm sure my mother in law is reading this...might be sort weird for her...) just grosses me out. How can I feel sexy and attractive when I've got all these body image issues running through my mind? Even if Chris by chance happens to touch my stomach or my butt, my mind immediately thinks "Oh no! I hope he didn't feel what I see in the mirror!" UUUGGHH. And to complicate it even more so, Chris is in the best shape of his life...chiseled features and tight muscles...yeah I'm sure he'd just love to get with this!!
So, I guess I'll get back to you when I figure it all out. Hopefully I do... in the meantime, I wonder if I have any ice cream downstairs....
Oh girl, that is so normal! It's harder the second time too. You have to give it much more time. It took me a while before I lost all the weight. It took me a long time before I felt normal again. Hang in there! We should get together for a playdate. I'm willing to come to you:)
ReplyDeleteAw thanks for the encouragement. I need it! And I'd love to do a play date! I can definitely come to you since my mom is right there...I can always off load Avery afterwards!
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