Crazy Stages
Don't you ever wonder, why there are so many crazy people in the world? They all seem so more apparent when you are either trying to get pregnant, pregnant, or have had a kid. It's like, all the sudden some magical magnet gets turned on in you and these people are just drawn to you.
The Before: This is the stage of either trying to get pregnant, or just simply not being pregnant. It's like, the second after you get married, people are always asking "When are you going to have a baby!?". As if it's any of their business to begin with... I mean, can't the enjoyment of marriage be had first? And then, after it's been a couple years, the previous question turns into "Don't you even want kids?" or "Do you not like kids?", etc. What is it with these people? Or even worse, you get those comments, most often from women who have kids, such as "Well, when you get pregnant, you'll just love it so much. It's the best thing ever". First, have these women not had a cupcake from the Flying Cupcake? Because I'm pretty sure that might be the best thing ever. Second, what is fun about gaining 30+ pounds, stretch marks, internal movements and hiccups, lack of sex, slimy birth stuff and then the prospect of actually getting the baby out of your poor body. Yes that sounds grand. Where can I sign up?
The During: This is when you are pregnant. Which is nearly the worst stage, however, stage 3 I think is far worse. Along with said items listed before, you now have crazy people talking to you wherever you go. Strangers ask you when you're due, is it a boy/girl, do you have a name, is this your first, do you have the room decorated, are you going to breastfeed, yadda yadda yadda. Like I want to share what I'm doing with my breasts to complete strangers. Then of course you get everyones advice on all topics of pregnancy, birth, and parenting. I'm pretty sure the majority of parents out there need to be seeking professional help in parenting, not giving advice on how to parent. Oh, and the constant belly touching is weird, especially from strangers. It's like they see that belly and they reach, instinctively. Maybe that's where the magnet is housed. That must be why your belly gets so big...it's the magnet growing to only enhance the radar of the crazy's.
The After: Post-birth. In my opinion, the worst stage. Babies must transfer the stupid magnet that was housed in your womb, onto themselves. The attraction is now intensified whenever you have your baby with you. Now you get all sorts of people, asking even more questions that are uncomfortable. I had Avery dressed in all pink, bows in her hair, her ear are pierced....and still had someone ask if she was a girl or boy. Honestly?! Additionally, the constant parenting advice that so many seem adamant to give is very annoying. Some from people who are terrible parents...whose children run wild and have very strict rules, from breathing, sleeping, eating, etc. Yes, the epitome of perfection...please, I want your advice!! "Well, when my kid was a baby, we did such and such and it was the best". "You know, if you don't do this, your baby won't develop." Blah. I'm the first time parent here. Let me figure it out and experiment on my kid myself. I'm pretty sure feeding my baby pretzels or giving her juice is not going to hinder her SAT scores.
So, I hope so many of you heed this advice...the next time you go to touch a prego's belly, give parental advice, or make comments regarding any female in any stage, try and think "Is this an obnoxious question that I will one day hate to be asked myself?" This is why I now don't say to a pregnant woman "Gosh, you are so huge! You look like you are going to explode!"
The Before: This is the stage of either trying to get pregnant, or just simply not being pregnant. It's like, the second after you get married, people are always asking "When are you going to have a baby!?". As if it's any of their business to begin with... I mean, can't the enjoyment of marriage be had first? And then, after it's been a couple years, the previous question turns into "Don't you even want kids?" or "Do you not like kids?", etc. What is it with these people? Or even worse, you get those comments, most often from women who have kids, such as "Well, when you get pregnant, you'll just love it so much. It's the best thing ever". First, have these women not had a cupcake from the Flying Cupcake? Because I'm pretty sure that might be the best thing ever. Second, what is fun about gaining 30+ pounds, stretch marks, internal movements and hiccups, lack of sex, slimy birth stuff and then the prospect of actually getting the baby out of your poor body. Yes that sounds grand. Where can I sign up?
The During: This is when you are pregnant. Which is nearly the worst stage, however, stage 3 I think is far worse. Along with said items listed before, you now have crazy people talking to you wherever you go. Strangers ask you when you're due, is it a boy/girl, do you have a name, is this your first, do you have the room decorated, are you going to breastfeed, yadda yadda yadda. Like I want to share what I'm doing with my breasts to complete strangers. Then of course you get everyones advice on all topics of pregnancy, birth, and parenting. I'm pretty sure the majority of parents out there need to be seeking professional help in parenting, not giving advice on how to parent. Oh, and the constant belly touching is weird, especially from strangers. It's like they see that belly and they reach, instinctively. Maybe that's where the magnet is housed. That must be why your belly gets so big...it's the magnet growing to only enhance the radar of the crazy's.
The After: Post-birth. In my opinion, the worst stage. Babies must transfer the stupid magnet that was housed in your womb, onto themselves. The attraction is now intensified whenever you have your baby with you. Now you get all sorts of people, asking even more questions that are uncomfortable. I had Avery dressed in all pink, bows in her hair, her ear are pierced....and still had someone ask if she was a girl or boy. Honestly?! Additionally, the constant parenting advice that so many seem adamant to give is very annoying. Some from people who are terrible parents...whose children run wild and have very strict rules, from breathing, sleeping, eating, etc. Yes, the epitome of perfection...please, I want your advice!! "Well, when my kid was a baby, we did such and such and it was the best". "You know, if you don't do this, your baby won't develop." Blah. I'm the first time parent here. Let me figure it out and experiment on my kid myself. I'm pretty sure feeding my baby pretzels or giving her juice is not going to hinder her SAT scores.
So, I hope so many of you heed this advice...the next time you go to touch a prego's belly, give parental advice, or make comments regarding any female in any stage, try and think "Is this an obnoxious question that I will one day hate to be asked myself?" This is why I now don't say to a pregnant woman "Gosh, you are so huge! You look like you are going to explode!"
April, you make me laugh. Hope I didn't do too much of that crazy stuff to you. ;)
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